There was a reason I loved Captain Planet when I was a child, and it wasn’t because I’m super green peace. It wasn’t even because I wanted to be a super hero, although that helped. I loved Captain Planet for the pure evil of its villains. Every episode ended with the same basic confrontation.
Planeteers: You’re dumping toxic waste into the ecosystem! How could you do such a thing?
Me at Home: They must be trying to cut corners at some manufacturing plant somewhere! There could be billions on the line!
Villain: Fuck you Planeteers! I’m doing this for no apparent reason whatsoever other than the simple love of pollution! Yes, that’s right. I didn’t even set up my manufacturing concern to make money, I did it solely to generate pollution, so I could use that pollution to pollute the ecosystem. In fact, I prefer to pollute even when there is a cheaper more environmentally friendly alternative.
Me at Home: Fuck that is evil.
There was a movie I watched as a child that satisfied this same desire. It had villains so evil it was comedic. Then, when it had been demonstrated sufficiently that these were people beyond all redemption, they were destroyed. Destroyed in a truly satisfying way that can never be achieved in real life. That movie was the 1985 cult classic, The Toxic Avenger. I just found out you can watch it for free on Hulu, although you have to register since it’s rated R.
Now, for a beautiful song. My brother sent this to me the other day and I’ve been sending it to almost everyone I know… because Jesus Christ this thing is a tear-jerker. I have no idea what the video is supposed to represent, so just listen to the music.
