INTRODUCTION
Looking back, I really don’t know what the hell I was thinking when I started liveblogging Battlestar Galactica… oh wait, yes I do. I thought it would be funny. Well, not everything goes according to life’s plans. In high school I thought I was going to grow up to be a research scientist.
In either case, we’re almost there now so let’s get this train parked at the station.
As I’m sure this is going to get a lot of hits off of google from people who could really give a shit about what I did during this week, or about anything I’ve written, I’m going to keep this introduction brief. So brief in fact, that that sentence about how brief it is going to be is the second to last sentence that is going to be in the intro.
BEGIN LIVEBLOG
Pre-Show Thoughts: I want the Galactica to fall into the black hole. I know it’ll seem hoaky but it’s the only thing that can wrap up the series in any kind of sensible way at this point. Also, I think I’m goign to be pausing the show quite often to provide a more comprehensive summary. To that end there will be no time stamps, I will have a NEW SCENE stamp every time the scene changes and not rant during the commercials at all.
SHOW START
Going through the recap. We’re back before the fall of Caprica. We’re going back to Lee and Kara in the apartment. Recapping Roslin’s dead family. Recapping Gaius’ crazy father being sent to a rest home of happiness.
NEW SCENE
We’re on the Galactica in the present day. This is another recap, going through things like Gaius outing Kara, Kara finding patterns in the music, and all the Cylons hovering over Hera onboard the Cylon Colony Ship. Recapping Adama and company going over the battle plans to attack the Base Star, and the split Adama ordered at the end of the first part of “Daybreak.”
NEW SCENE
We’re in a city with a lot of fluorescent lights, and now we’ve jumped into a strip club. Lots of girls dancing on poles. Tigh is arguing with a stripper for the price of a lap dance. Adama doesn’t want the lap dance Tigh is trying to buy for him. Adama let the stripper take the money and run. She seemed to be happy about it.
Tigh and Adama are talking about life after commanding a Battlestar, as this is apparently a retirement party for the Old Man. Adama is taking a new job somewhere in the civilian sector, apparently. Tigh’s wife is with them in the strip joint. Adama is looking very unhappy, but he’s toasted to his retirement regardless. Tigh is a really wild drunk.
NEW SCENE
We’re with Lee and Kara in the apartment, and they’re talking about politics. Lee is talking about people who don’t participate in the political process are giving up their voices. They both look a little drunk and Zack Adama is nowhere to be seen. Now they’re talking about the responsbility of the uniform. Zack Adama just came in, and he’s telling Kara how Lee is truly a cynic. Zack is telling Kara about how Lee and the Old Man aren’t talking. Lee is arguing that his father believes in himself and not the system he protects. Now Zack wants to know why Lee followed in his father’s footsteps. Lee said it was just because the service paid for his college.
NEW SCENE
We’re with Roslin in her apartment with the date they talked about in the last episode. He brought flowers, and Roslin is offering him wine. Roslin is talking about how the blind date isn’t very awkward. Roslin says she has a feeling that she knows “Sean.” He looks very uncomfortable. Roslin is pouring a very full glass of wine. Hahaha, Sean was one of her students. Oh Jesus Christ! Hahaha! School teacher and student! Hahahaha! Sean says he graduated some time ago, so he’d still like to fuck her if possible. Well, he didn’t say that but still. Roslin said he can stay. I think she’s going to do something she’ll regret. They toasted, and now Roslin is laughing.
NEW SCENE
Tigh and Adama are arguing about money in the strip bar. Adama wants to hear that Tigh would take a civilian desk job for money. He can’t say it, and Adama is like “Fuck you, I love the military.”
NEW SCENE
Lee and Kara are dragging Zack to the bedroom, but they’ve all fallen down. Nevermind, they’re putting him on the couch. I sense some serious greek drama stuff is going to happen now. Kara told Lee that it is time for shots. They’re both giving each other “The Look”
NEW SCENE
Adama is puking all over himself in an alley, presumably behind the strip club. He’s looking up at the stars, and it’s beautiful. The cinematography in this episode is great. He’s looking at the stars like he’s falling in love with each point of light, and he can’t conceive of a life lived forever behind a desk. Good for him.
NEW SCENE
We’re with the Fleet now in the present day. Baltar is sitting in his empty sex cult room listening to Head Six talk about God’s plan for him. Head Six told him he’s following God’s plan right now by taking charge of mankind’s remnants and guiding them to their end. The cynical sex cult member came in and told Gaius that it was time to leave the Galactica. Gaius is just smiling at Head Six.
NEW SCENE
We’re with Roslin in the sick bay talking to Kottle. He’s giving her some medicine, enough for two days. She’s using up the last bit of life she’s got on this mission. Roslin is saying goodbye to Kottle now, and it’s very touching. We’ve got some tears flowing now. Roslin says Kottle is giving her a chance to use the little time she has left to do something important. She’s crying and giving him her heartfelt gratitude and thanks. Kottle doesn’t trust him to speak, but he wants to cry as well. I love when people cry on this show. He’s doing that thing where he wants to speak but his mouth keeps trembling. He’s handed Roslin over to the nurse. Roslin told the nurse she can barely see straight, but it’s okay because she knows she’s got two days.
NEW SCENE
We’re with Helo now in the pilot’s briefing room talking about the plan of attack. Apparently raptor’s are going to have the hardest job. He’s telling everyone that it’s going to be like threading a needle on a rollercoaster. He asked for volunteers and everyone raised their hands, because you can’t exaggerate enough the size of the balls of the people in the Fleet Military.
NEW SCENE
Lee is talking to the marines about where Hera is being held in the Colony Ship, based on intel they’ve receieved from the Fleet Cylons.
NEW SCENE
Adama is in the CIC laying out Galactica’s role in the upcoming operation. They’ll be in too close for nukes or missiles so it’ll strictly be a gun battle. They’ll be slugging it out at point break range. Gun captains are to fire until they run out of ammo, and throw rocks when the clips run dry.
NEW SCENE
We’re with Tyrol in the engineering bay, and he’s talking about how the Galactica is going to get blasted to piss as soon as it jumps into position over the Cylon Colony Ship. Tyrol wants to plug Anders into the Galactica’s DRADIS so he can shut down the Colony Ship’s gun systems using some Cylon mind hacking Kung Fu. Apparently the Colony has multiple hybrids, that Anders can hypothetically command. Kara is for the plan. Tyrol apparently needs to move Anders to the CIC and plug him into the DRADIS there if the plan is going to work.
NEW SCENE
We’ve got a shot in space of a bunch of raiders exiting the Base Ship.
NEW SCENE
Adama is turning over control of the Fleet to Commander Hoshi, because if he dies he needs to know the Fleet is in capable hands and being run by someone who commands universal respect. Hoshi is kind of choked up and says he’ll see Adama at the rendezvous. “Good Hunting” they’re saluting each other, Adama called Hoshi an admiral, and now he’s off to kick some ass int he CIC.
We’ve got a beautiful shot of Anders being wired into the DRADIS. Tigh is looking around at all of this like he can’t frakking believe it’s happening. We’ve got gooey tubes all over the place. Adama got some of the goo on his hands, and Tigh offered to flush all the Cylons out the airlock. Oh Tigh, your autoracism is adorable.
It looks like Anders is about to be brought on-line because lights are flickering all over the Galactica.
NEW SCENE
We’re in the hangar bay with Lee and Romo. I always think Romo is blind, but he’s just walking his dog onto a raptor. Haha, Romo has just been made acting President of the Colonies. I love this show for reasons like this. We’ve got this epic shot of Admiral Hoshi and President Romo getting onboard a Raptor that really lets you know the end times are at hand. Thank God I can pause this show because every line is so rich and full of meaning I could never provide coverage in an hour. The hangar bay is saluting, Romo and Hoshi return the salute. Lee is announcing that it is the last raptor out. Baltar has shown up on deck. He’s getting on board the Raptor with the cynical girl from the sex cult. He’s refusing to leave the Galactica. I love Baltar again. Now there’s this awesome look exchanged between Baltar and Lee. Lee threw Baltar a gun. A bunch of tin cans just walked into the hangar bay of the Galactica wearing red sashes. This is going to be so frakking incredible.
NEW SCENE
We go from a beautiful shot of the Fleet to the CIC of the Galactica. Tigh has turned over the ap to the Base Ship. Adama has ordered Tigh to go on the horn, to get a report from all combat stations. They’re calling off one by one. Roslin is in the sick bay setting up the triage unit with the nurse, helping her prep the tables. The nurse is telling Roslin to separate out the wounded into two groups. She gave Roslin a marker to sort out those who can’t be saved from those who can. Roslin said sick bay is a go. Hot Dog said Vipers are a go. The assault team of Lee and the Tin Cans is ready to go, as is the Raptor assault team of Helo and Athena. The Marines are a go. Baltar is dressed up in Marine Gear with Caprica. It looks like they’re going to be fighting side by side. Baltar says she shouldn’t be there. Baltar doesn’t understand what he’s doing there, or what he was thinking. This kind of conflict is what I love about Baltar.
NEW SCENE
We’re back in the CIC, Ellen is playing with the Gooey tubes and she thinks Anders is a go. Tigh has reported all stations positive. Adama is on the horn now to the ship. He wants everyone to know that the Galactica has a lot of history, and that this will be her last, and she will not fail them if they don’t fail her. He’s called Action Stations. Tyrol is preparing to jump. Tigh is smiling like he just spit in the eye of the Devil.
NEW SCENE
Galactica just jumped into the Asteroid Belt over the Colony Ship. Right in her goddamn mouth. And they’re both firing at each other, guns blazing right off the bat. This is the most amazing sequence I have ever seen on television.. Oh fuck are they hammering each other. You’ve got the guns just thrusting all over the place. The Galactica is getting shit hammered from about ten thousand different directions. Sam is looking all hybridy, the lights on the Galactica re going apeshit. The Galactica literally looks like it is on fire.
NEW SCENE
We’ve got these cut scenes of the hybrid Anders talking to the colony hybrids via DRADIS. The Hybrid just had a space orgasm and the Colony Ships guns just shut down. The Galactica is preparing to launch raiders immediately before the Colony can get theirs out. Tigh juts gave the call. We’ve got the Raiders jumping out of the Colony Ship and breaking the glass pyramid on top. Adama is steering the Galactica directly into the Colony Ship. He just did it. Frak me this is amazing. The Galactica’s nose just broke through the Colony ship. We’ve got explosions all over Galactica. Adama hurt his arm. DRADIS is still functioning.
NEW SCENE
We’re with the Raptors now. Hot Dog is flying CAG I guess. They’re flying into the raiders guns blazing. Fuck this is happening fast.
NEW SCENE
The front of the Galactica inside the Base Ship was just blown off and the assault team on the inside is getting ready to jump out. I hope when Hera grows up someone makes her feel responsible for all of this. But Jesus, this is the greatest military battle I have ever heard conceived in the mind of a mortal man. Lee is leading the assault team into the Colony Ship. They’re rappelling down. The Red Sashed Tin Cans are looking ready to kick ass, as they stand behind Lee guns at the ready. Lee just read the assault team into a pressurized part of the Colony Ship. He’s ordered helmets off. Everyone picked up their guns. The Red Sashes are looking ready to kill.
NEW SCENE
We’re with the raptors now flying through the asteroid field.We’ve got a couple of collisions. DRADIS is almost useless. They’ve armed their nukes. Hahaha! Frak Me! HE SENT THE NUKE WITH THE RAIDERS! Can anyone see Adama behind a desk doing a desk job? Of course not, because by the end of lunch everyone in the office building would be dead. Crap, we just lost a raider to a fucking rock.
NEW SCENE
We’re back with Adama in the CIC. He’s calling out orders on the horn. He’s calling out orders to the raptors. They want the raiders to take out the Cylon batteries.
NEW SCENE
The Raptors are landing on top of the frakking Base Ship. My fucking God. This is the greatest moment in the history of episodic television. They’re lowering the nukes onto the Base Ship and cutting through to lead another assault team. Kara is in charge of this one. She’s with Athena and Helo. They’re walking through a corridor, and just opened fire on a bunch of old style tin cans.
NEW SCENE
We’re with the Black Cylon in some kind of sick bay, where he’s preparing to stick a needle into Hera. Boomer is watching with a scowl. Boomer wants to know if Black Cylon is just going to keep doing the tests even with the Colony Ship caving in around them. He said he wasn’t worried at all because the battle was all a matter of mathematics, so Boomer stabbed him in the fucking head. Hell yes. Thank God she’s taken a side.
NEW SCENE
We’re in a corridor. Holy frakking shit. Tin Cans are literally fucking punching each other. With their fucking hands. I LOVE THIS SHOW.
NEW SCENE
Roslin is in sick bay, but no one is there yet.
NEW SCENE
Tyrol is giving instructions to Anders about where to route power. Anders is relaying the orders in crazy hybrid talk. We have a brief shot of the space battle.
NEW SCENE
Cavil, a Black Cylon, and a PR Cylon are talking about Boomer dodeca-crossing them and taking Hera. They’re going off to find her. Black Cylon is ordering caution in capturing the child.
NEW SCENE
We’re with Baltar and Six on board the Galacitca. It looks like they’re preparing to be boarded. Six is telling Baltar that she’s proud of him. Six told Baltar she always wanted to be proud of him, but she’d never felt it till that moment. They’re kissing. Baltar looks like a kid in his helmet. Hahah, holy frakking shit. The Head People are there! AND BOTH OF THEM CAN SEE THEM! Baltar and Six have just been told they hold the future of humans and cylons in their hands. Baltar and Six had a moment like “You can see them too?”
NEW SCENE
We’re in the CIC, Adama is trying to get a phone connection somewhere, but the Cylons have punched a hole in the Galactica and have just poured into deck 23 I guess. We’ve got tin cans all over the place.
NEW SCENE
We’re back on the Colony ship with Starbuck shooting some tin cans. We’re fighting in corridors as of now. They’re about to open a big door it looks like. Or not. We’re going somewhere else. We’ve got Boomer! She just showed up with Hera. Helo is there and so is Athena. I hope someone shoots Boomer, still. Hera just got picked up by Athena. Helo looks fucking pissed, and Boomer wants them to tell the old man that she owed him one. Boomer agrees she deserves to die. So who is going to kill her? Someone? Please?
Boomer is letting them know that the raptors have been destroyed. FUCK YES! I WANT TO CUM THIS IS SO GOOD! ATHENA JUST SHOT BOOMER! OH MY GOD MY NERDGASM HAS SHAKEN THE HEAVENS AND THE EARTH! DIE YOU SOMEHOW RELATABLE BITCH! DIE! THIS HURTS SO GOOD!
NEW SCENE
We’re back in the past on the Galactica. Another Flashback. Oh Ronald D. Moore you are a cocktease. It’s a scene where Tigh and Adama are taling to Boomer about her poor piloting record. Adama says she’s been washed out of training. Boomer wants to know what they want. Adama says he wants her to land her bird, and not let her personal life get in the way. Adama is telling her all she’s got is the service, and she’s got survivor’s guilt and she needs to drop it because this is the mother-fucking Colonial Military where people fly spaceships into Colony ships because their cocks are made of Titanium and they cum magma. So shut the frak up about your personal problems and ass fuck Satan to death BECAUSE THAT IS HOW THINGS ARE DONE ABOARD THE BATTLESTAR MOTHERFUCKING GALACTICA! SO SAY WE ALL!
Adama told Boomer he doesn’t think she understands, but maybe someday she will. She says she owes him one. Adama says he doubts she’ll ever pay him back. This hurts so good. This hurts so good it’s like falling in love.
NEW SCENE
We’re back in the sick bay, and we’ve got a lot of fucking injured people in there now. Oh boy howdy, is there some blood. Nurse is shouting orders, and Roslin is marking people with her pen of death. She’s giving comforting words to the dying.
NEW SCENE
We’re back with Kara and such in the Colony Ship. She just met up with Lee. They’re the only people in the Colony Ship now apparently. Helo is holding Hera.
NEW SCENE
We’ve got the guns on Galactica firing at the Colony ship still. They were just Kamikaze’ed by some Raiders. Or at least one of them was. This is fucking intense.
NEW SCENE
We’re in the CIC now, and Tigh and Adama are shouting orders into phones at the top of their lungs. They’re deploying Red Stripes everywhere to save people. A fire has broken out inthe CIC. It’s big and it doesn’t look like it’s goign to die out anytime soon. He’s ordering everyone to go somewhere. I think they’re all going to jump out in Vipers, get on Raiders and jump away as the nukes go off. I think. Or I hope. This is so fucking awesome.
NEW SCENE
Back on the Galactia with Batlar and Six, shooting the fuck out of some tin cans. No signo f the Head People anywhere. Baltar almost shot Lee and Starbuck. Everyone is back on the Galactica now, including Hera. Still no sign of the Head People. More shooting of tin cans.
NEW SCENE
Back in space with the Galactica’s guns balazing. I wonder if they’re going to jump away while still inside the Colony ship and rip it apart that way? I frakking hope so.
NEW SCENE
We’re with Roslin. She’s sitting down in a white smock, covered in blood. She just gave herself an injection. Our friend Roslin is not looking good. She just ahd a vision of the Opera House now that Hera is on board. She took off her blody smock and she’s on the move.
NEW SCENE
We’re back with Kara and Helo and Hera. We’re moving somewhere on the Galactica. I don’t know where yet. They definitely have a destiation in mind. PR Cylon just shot Helo. Kara iced him. Helo i slooking bad. Kara just blased a tin can to hell. Hera took off somewhere down the corridor. Helo is ordering Athena to go and find Hera even though it means he’s going to bleed out. For the record: My father would NEVER do that for me. EVER.
We’ve got this awesome duality thing happening where Athena is running after Hera, but keeps projecting herself into the Opera House. Hera is walking somewhere very slowly as the chaos flies all around her. The Galactica is rupturing everywhere. Hera is still running. Roslin is running after her now too, and she keeps cutting into the Opera House. Cavil is on board the Galactica with a bunch of tin cans. He’s searching for Hera as well. There’s some very ominious music playing.
Roslin just sighed Hera. Go Roslin! Go! Hera stopped down near the sex cult room I think. Roslin just gave her a hug. Some tin cans are heading right toward them, so Roslin ducked with Hera. The Tin Cans walked right by, thank God for small miracles. Nope. Hera just disappeared. What the frak?
NEW SCENE
Baltar and Six are alone in a room now. Baltar is reloading his gun. He’s got no more bullets. Six has only got two more rounds. They just found Hera with herh ands over her ears. Roslin is limping along. She just spotted Athena. They’re both running through the Opera House toward Hera. This is the scene we’ve all seen so many times. They’re running toward Hera, but Baltar and Six have got her first. I think they’re going to die, oh no. Six is closing the door, she doesn’t seem them coming. Athena is stuck outside with Roslin, as Baltar and Six make their way through the Galactica.
Baltar is projecting inside the Opera House now. Baltar says he’s been there before. Six says she has been as well. This music is just amazing. They know they’re both supposed to go into the Opera House. Six handed Baltar baby Hera. Six is leading with a gun in her hands. This is amazing. It makes the Opera House scene make sense. They’re in some kind of room with lots of comm equipment. Adama is there literally kicking people. It’s the CIC. The Final Five are up near Anders, perfectly matching their locations in the Opera House. This is making a lot of shit make sense.
Adama is shouting “THEY’VE GO THE LTITLE GIRL!”
Cavil just put a gun a to Hera. He’s tyring to take Hera and just leave. Six is threatening him. Cavil has promised them that he’s going to chase them across the universe for another four years. Tigh was like “Frak you!” only he said it in this totally calm Clint Eastwood voice. I really hope Michael Hogan doesn’t do pottery without his shirt on, it would just ruin his image for me.
Baltar is talking about how Hera is not a thing, she’s a child. The Head People are smiling in the CIC. He says that Hera is the key to the survival of the human race, and he knows it because he sees angels. He says he may be mad, but that doesn’t mean he’s not right. He’s talking about how there’s another force at work here, and how everyone in the room knows it, because they’re all experienced things they can’t fathom! Yes! I will take this as proof that Ronald D. Moore reads my liveblog, because I have nothing else to live for.
Baltar is talking about dreams, and prophecies, people coming back from the dead. Cavil is looking very pissed off and scared. I’m an atheist, but I’m loving this. Cavil says that if that were true, then how does he know that the outside force has their best interests in mind? Baltar says God is a force of nature good and evil, so he doesn’t know if God is on his side and he doesn’t really give a frak. Cavil is looking scared again, because Baltar is talking about faith.
Cavil says that leaving Hera ensures the death of the Cylon race. Tigh says he’ll give Cavil resurrection if he just stops behind such an asshole. Ellen looks shocked. Tigh says the war ends there if resurrection is given to the Cylons. Cavil has agreed. Adama wants to know how he can take Cavil’s word for it. Cavil is being given a phone now to call off his shock troops. He’s ordered a stand down. Hot Dog wants to know if he can stand down as well. Adama has ordered a general stand down. No way. Hera just walked into the arms of Six. Cavil says he’s as good as his word. I did not see this coming.
NEW SCENE
Raptors are landing ont he Galactica. There’s a PR Cylon in the CIC with Cavil. Black Cylon is there as well. Kara reported the losses. Baltar and Six are holding hands over Hera. Roslin is sitting next to Adama so I’m guessing Athena is alive somewhere as well. Adama is explaining how the Final Five are going to give resurrection back to the Cylons.
NEW SCENE
The Final Five are talking about linking together to give the information to the Cylons. Apparently they’re going to know everything about each other when they do this, and Tori is looking miiiiighty nervous. The chief is not going to be happy when he finds out. Cavil is trying to rush them along. Tori is trying to get them all to agree that no matter what they learn about each other, everyone makes mistakes, so there should be forgiveness. They’re all placing hands in the waters around Anders. Anders is looking very magical right now as the lights flicker all around him. The data is transferring over to the Colony Ship. All the Final Five are looking very weird. Tori is flashing back on killing Callie. She’s looking over at the chief. The chief is looking mighty pissed off. He just glanced at Tori with a look of pure hate and pulled his hands out of the goo. He put his hands around Tori’s neck… and now the Cylons are opening fire because they think they’ve been tricked.
See everyone! See! I knew Callie was awesome and important, so fuck you all! Fuck. You. All.
Tori’s neck was just snapped, no more resurrection anywhere in the world I guess. Cavil looked at al lthe gunfire said “Frak!” and committed suicide. Wow. Just wow. This is amazing. Everyone is firing on the Galactica again.
NEW SCENE
We’re back in space with Race Track, who I thought had been killed by a space rock much earlier in the show. Her ship has seen better days and she looks barely conscious. That’s because she’s dead. But a boulder just hit her ship and knocked her hand onto the button to fire all of her nukes at the Base Ship. See, I can accept this kind of God. If God exists, I don’t want him to be cryptic. I want him to nuke some assholes.
NEW SCENE
The Base Ship just lit up in a blaze of glory and it looks like it’s headed right for the singularity. The Galactica is going to jump away, because it’s stuck in the side of the Base Ship like a sliver in a thumb. Starbuck is jumping the ship without any coordinates on the orders of Adama. She’s having these cut scenes with her father and All Along the Watchtower. She’s repeating the words tot he song. She’s punching in the song as coordinates, based upon the numbers she assigned to the notes earlier. I was worried this was going to happen, but now that it has happened, I am happy as fuck. This is awesome. All these cut scenes to people calling Kara an angel are just fucking orgasmic. She’s playing the jump computer like a piano. She stuck the blue key into the Galactica’s jump ignition and it disappeared. The Base Ship didn’t explode around the jump like I wanted it to, but I can forgive that since this is so fucking… FUCK!
NEW SCENE
Now we’re back on Caprica with Kara and Lee because Ronald D. Moore is the most amazing cocktease in the world. If he were gay, he would have been stoned to death long ago by his angry gay lover for aggressive giving of blue balls. Starbuck is talking about Fate with Lee, and how she doesn’t think about anything when she’s flying. They’re look very flirty at each other, and Starbuck is talking about how she thinks about dying every time she gets into a cockpit. She has a little girl sexy voice on right now. They’re about ot make the mouth magic happen any moment now. Starbuck is talking about how she doesn’t fear death, because she has a pair of conceptual cojones. She says the only thing that makes her afraid is being forgotten.
NEW SCENE
The Galactica just exited… somewhere I guess. It’s falling apart. Her spin ust cracked . She’s buckling all over the place. Explosive decompressions. It looks like she wants to crack clean across the middle. She’s stabiliazing now, but I can stil hear creeks. The FTL is broken, but everyone looks all right. Hera is still alive as is Roslin. Adama wants Tigh to find a damage report. Tyrol is staring off into space. The man who single-handedly broke the truce with the Cylons because of his awesome love of an awesome girl.
Tigh says the Galactica’s back is broken. She’ll never jump again. Wherever they are is where they’re going to stay. The Galactica is soaring by the moon. We’ve got a tight shot of Earth. But Earth when?
NEW SCENE
The Galactica is hovering above Earth,a nd other ships are jumping in too. How did they find the Galactica? I don’t understand this? Maybe a raptor jumped out of find them. We’ve got Adama in a lush green field. It’s so strange to see everyone under a blue sky. Everyone is laying in a field looking through some binoculars. Okay, so I guess a raptor did jump into the rendezvous point and that’s how the rest of the Fleet found out. Hoshi gave Adama back his Admiral’s stars, because let’s face it: DID YOU JUST SEE WHAT ADAMA DID? THAT WAS THE MOST AMAZING THING EVER DONE BY ANY HUMAN BEING EVER IN THE HISTORY OF FICTION? DO YOU REALLY WANT TO FOLLOW THAT GUY AS ADMIRAL?
Baltar is showing Adama the most advanced civilization on the planet. They’re staring at some Cave Men. Literal Cave Men. They can breed with the Cave People. Baltar is the one who brought it up, so Adama is joking about how he wants to frak all the time. Adama wants to know how it’s possible that they can be compatible with the Cave People. Baltar says there is a divine hand at work. Adama says they’re staing, so they might as well get used to it.
NEW SCENE
We’re got Lee, Romo, and some others under a tent. Romo is laying out plans for a city and provisions. Lee says there will be no city on the planet. Lee says they are going to break the cycle by giving up their technology. The Fleet is going to give the people on the planet their language and the best parts of their civilization. Lee is talking about starting anew. We’ve got a big shot of the Fleet.
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Adama is talking about spreading people out at various points over the planet. Romo is shocked at how ameniable everyone is to the notion. Adama is pointing at Australia and other continents. I wonder if anyone will bring up that this planet looks exactly like the other Earth minus the radiation damage.
The Cylons are giving the Base Ship to the Centurions to let them evolve on their own. The Skin Jobs are going to stay with the humans. After the Civilians have been offloaded, Anders is going to guide all the Fleet Ships directly intot he sun. This is quite amazing. So I guess my great great great grandad was Admiral Adama. I guess that’s something to be proud of.
NEW SCENE
Kara is standing next to Anders in his goo tub. Anders still has stroke face on in full force. Kara is crying. She tore off her dog tabs and she put them in Anders’ goo. This is very sad. Anders can’t even turn to her to tell her he loves her. Kara is leaning in to kiss Anders. She’s telling Anders that she loves him and she’s saying goodbye. Anders is making no response. Anders said he’ll see Kara on the other side, but it’s doubtful that Kara heard. So very very sad.
NEW SCENE
Shot of the Galactica over Earth. Adama is going down the hangar bay, wearing a Viper Suit. The Celtic Music is playing. He’s crawling into a launch tube, and boarding a Viper. He looks damn imposing in that siut. Who can imagine him in a desk job? Seriously?
NEW SCENE
We’ve got Adama in a flashback answering questions, presumably for a job interview. They just asked him if he was a Cylon, he said no. Adama said he’s had enough of the crap they’re pitching him. He said no job is worth the humiliation of having someone questioning his word, so he’s rather spend the rest of his life on board a broken down ship. Good for you Bill Adama. Good for you.
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Adama is apparently the last Viper out of the Galactica. He’s flying in his Viper toward the Earth.
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We’ve got cut scenes of Anders talking about perfection, and about creation. The lights of the Galactica are flickering around him. Christ, this is good. The Fleet is heading toward the sun, but even though all that technology is going to be destroyed it’s still beautiful. It’s frakking amazing.
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We’re with Tyrol, Ellen, and Tigh walking around a green field. Tyrol is going to be dropped off on a cold island somewhere where there are no people. He’s so very loney, our Tyrol. And I’m so glad he killed Tori. She had it coming a thousand times over. Tigh wished Tyrol luck, and said he would have done the same thing Tyrol did if someone had hurt his Ellen. Tyrol walked away in the grass.
Ellen is standing with Tigh.
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Tigh is sitting in the strip club with Ellen. Ellen is ordering a drink, and celebrating her husband’s retirement. No wonder she resents Adama so much. Tigh must have re-upped to be with the Old Man. This explains so much. All she ever wanted was to be with her husband, and all he ever wanted was to be with his Buddy Bill Adama. They’re hugging in the strip club, happy to be able to make their own life.
We cut to them on Earth hugging each other, now able to live their lifes as they have wanted at long last.
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We’ve got Roslin staring at what looks like antelope. She lives with Adama in a house made of sticks. Roslin is not looking good. She put on her glasses to stare at the antelope some more. Adama is holding her hand. I wonder if she’s going to pass in this episode. Adama is calling the planet Earth. Roslin laughed. Bill said that Earth is a dream, and one that the Fleet has been chasing for a long time so it’s Earth. Roslin is still laughing at the whole notion. I still wished they could have used Hera’s blood to heal her. Roslin is having trouble breathing. She’s smiling though. She’s so happy to be on a planet again. Adama is trying to be stoic, but you can tell he’s being torn up. He asks her if she wants a better look at teh antelope. Roslin can barely breathe. Adama is standing up from under Roslins tent. Awww, he’s carrying her. Lee and Starbuck came out of their tent to watch.
Adama just came out of the Raptor, and told Lee he doesn’t have much time. He gave his son a hug. Lee says he understands. Adama and Starbuck just shared a moment where Adama asked her what she could hear and she said “nothing but the rain.” It’s what they said to each other for the very first time in the series. Starbuck is staring to cry now too. Adama is giving Starbuck a big hug. I bet he gives excellent hugs. Did that sound gay? I don’t care. He probably smells like old spice and leather, and that can never be a bad thing.
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Lee and Starbuck are walking by the raptor. President Roslin is in the front waving to them both. Adama is taking off as Lee and Starbuck wave goodbye. He’s flying out, presumably toward the antelope. Lee is talking about his first memory of his dad is of him flying away, and wondering when he was coming back. Lee and Starbuck have been left alone, without any distractions. Starbuck is talking about how she has to go away. What? This is no good. Starbuck says she’s done and she’s ready to go because she’s completed her journey. She feels good.
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Flashback to Starbuck and Lee still pounding down shots. Starbuck is double dog daring Lee to frak her on the kitchen table right there, right now. They’re having very passionate sex now. Zack is waking up. Lee is looking over at his brother, who is still half-asleep. Kara is looking ashamed now, as is Lee. They can’t ever be together without tension, I guess. Lee says he had better get going. Starbuck coughs, and agrees, but you can tell she knows she’s made a mistake and that Lee is the one she’s supposed to be with. She’s giving Lee a handshake and showing him to the door. Lee is shaking her hand.
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We’re back on Earth now, and Starbuck is asking Lee what he’s going to do. She told him that today is the first day of the rest of his life. Lee says he always thought when it was all done that he was going to kick back and relax and do the absolute minimum possible to continue human existence. He says he wants to explore. Starbuck just disappeared.
Wow.
He literally just turned around and she was no longer there. I guess there’s our answer as to how she came back. She just did. It was a miracle. A miracle from God, and we’re not meant to know how it happened. Lee told the wind that he will not forget Kara Thrace. I wonder where they shot all of this because it’s beautiful.
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Flashback to Caprica. Lee is in his apartment, watching that pigeon. He is hungover. The pigeon just flew out his door. I’m not really sure what any of that meant.
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Flashback of Laura in her apartment, and it looks like she just had sex with that guy she used to teach. Or she’s about to have sex with him. I don’t know that I like the idea of her being touched by someone other than Bill Adama. Roslin is breaking up with her boy toy, because she just can’t do it again. She told boy toy to show himself out. She went to the bathroom and lit a cigarette. I guess we know where she got her cancer from as well. She’s dialing her phone, and taking a drag from her cigarette. She’s joining Adar’s campaign. I guess this is where she made her decision to join Adar’s campaign al the way to the end.
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In the raptor with Roslin and Adama. He’s flying her all over the planet. Telling her about the abundance of life on the planet. Roslin just died. Adama says he’s looking for a quiet little palce for the cabin. He doesn’t know yet. He just looked over, after he told her about his plan for a garden, and realized. He’s taken his hands off the controls to hold onto Roslin. He’s kissing her hands and crying. He took off his wedding ring and put it on her finger. That’s love right there. That’s love. Love like this is why I get so mad at high school kids who knock up their girlfriends and get married. Adama is setting his viper down and promising Roslin he’s going to build his cabin right there. That’s love. You hear me, kids? THAT’S LOVE.
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We’ve got a herd of people walking through the wilderness. Romo is shaking hands with everyone. Nevermind, he’s counting. He’s counting everyone. Ellen and Tigh are taking up the rear. Wait, even more rear than them are Helo and Athena. They’re laughing about when Helo tried to hung on Caprica when they were trapped there. Athena is looking very happy on the planet. Six and Baltar are staring down at Hera. Baltar asked Six if Hera will be allright. The Head People just showed up. They’re telling Baltar that Hera survived thanks to them. Six can’t believe that’s all God wants of them. The Head People are telling Baltar and Six that from now on their lives would be less eventful. Then they disappeared. Baltar and Six are holding hands.
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Flashback to Caprica. Six and Baltar have met in the water park. Baltar kissed Six. Baltar says he may be able to help Six out after all. He says he’s doing it for Six, not for her employers. Baltar told Six he was in love with her, however indirectly. Then he smiled at her.
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Back on Earth. Baltar and Six picked up their back packs. Baltar pointed to a couple of peeks and said he saw some terrain that looked good for cultivation. Baltar says “You know my father loved about farming?” Then he started to cry. Six kissed him.
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Adama is talking about the view from the Cabin. He’s sitting right next to Roslin’s Cairn. This is really one of the best episodes of teleivion I have ever seen or imagined in my life time.
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Hera is walking around with a stick. She’s looking up into the sky, and we’re going across the whole of the Earth, all the deserts, all the oceans, all the forests. We see the Earth as it is today, 150,000 years later. Someone who sounds like Six is talking in Voice Over. They’re talking about finding the skeleton of mitochonrdrial Eve. Baltar and Six are smiling at each other, but they’re the Head Baltar and Head Six. Ronald D. Moore was holding the magazine by the way.
Six and Baltar are talking about all the sins of mankind now present on Earth. They’re talking about God’s plan. Apparently God doesn’t like the name God. They’re having a debate on whether or not history will repeat itself again.
We flashed into a store room window of a robot on the television. We’ve got a bunch of robots walking around in different clips as “All Along the Watch Tower” plays in the background.
We’ve got a scene of Six walkign in a red dress through time square.
THE END
