UPDATE: You can vote three times, of course.
Happy New Year to everyone, and I hope that the impending collapse of civilization as we know it hasn’t dampened anyone’s spirits. Sure, we’re all broke and have gloomy prospects for the future but that’s no reason to feel down! In celebration of the New Year, I will let all of you vote on the next story I write.
1. The time my penis fell out of my pants in high school during career day
2. The time I spent three days helping my dad’s pygmy goat give birth
3. The time my cousin Vincent got poop all over his leg when he was trying to empty the septic tank on my grandpa’s motor-home
4. The time my father was going to kill a random kid because he couldn’t find his cel phone
5. The time I accidentally punched an adorable six year old girl in the face during Karate practice (I was a kid too, so I didn’t do any lasting damage)
6. The time I had to convince all my coworkers on the oil rig that demons aren’t real so we could go home
7. A reflection on my sister’s boyfriends, including her first boyfriend who had an uncanny resemblance to Tom Green, and whom she used to beat without mercy
8. A story about a kid I went to school with who had the worst family in all of Aberdeen, this is both a funny and a sad story
9. A story about my dad yelling at a kid during my Boy Scout meeting, in which he threatened among other things to kill the kid’s mother
10. A story about me and my brother shooting a punch of asshole disrespectful barely human teenagers with a pellet gun until they all began to cry like little girls
For those few of you who are interested, I’m planning on having the first draft of “Gray Bolt” done by the end of January, maybe the middle of February. I have a couple of other things I need to finish up before I get back to it. And after that, I’m going to start on something else.
Just leave the number of the story you want me to write in the comments. I’ll write the top three stories next week.
