I woke up yesterday feeling like someone had been banging two iron skillets together inside my head for several hours. I’m not really prone to headaches, and I don’t drink, so I was at something of a loss to explain this.
After a few minutes I realized that I was physically unable to stand up, eat, or drink. I also had a fever, and felt like I wanted to throw up. That’s when I finally said “Oh… I’m sick!” after which I promptly went back to bed.
I estimate I slept somewhere in the neighborhood of eighteen hours yesterday, although I can’t really remember waking up people told me I did. I have no recollection of it, but I apparently left comments on several blogs and figured out how to reset my twitter updates. I had changed the password, which caused some technical hiccups, but apparently my subconscious self is a freaking genius and set that aright.
I’m still feeling relatively crappy, but at least I can type now and remember what I write. Anyhow, now that I have regained the power of memorable communication, how shall I use it? Let’s go ahead and talk about centaur sexuality.
In the past couple of days, I posted the following question on twitter:
bcwoods “Are centaurs ever cross gendered? (ie woman body on top with giant horse penis on bottom)”
Which got the following responses:
DJWebcomicGeek “That’s a disturbing thing to think about. I would have to say possibly. Like hermaphrodites. This requires further investigation.”
sedated2000 “have you ever seen a male centaur’s genitals to begin with?”
DonitaH “Sexiness.”
AnnieVigilante “I can only hope.”
My guess on this issue would be that all genetic variation is possible, and in a centaur population of significant size, you would see cross-gendered centaurs. However, the interesting question is this: where do centaurs get pregnant? Do female centaurs carry the baby in their human womb or their horse womb?
My guess on that: It would have to be the horse womb unless centaurs had a really crazy birth canal. Which makes you wonder if female centaurs have even retained their human wombs.
I also asked the following question:
bcwoods “Would centaurs even be turned on by breasts? It seems they would be too far away during copulation to care.”
davidcgarcia “Yes. Yes they would.”
kittenbottom “Maybe they still play with them while making out?”
Emperor_Gum :assuming that humans are more sexual animals that horses, I believe they would. Huh, and centuar sex is my first update in 9 days.”
sedated2000 “You’ve really been thinking hard about this centaur issue, huh? Centaurs would probably not care too much. None wear shirts.”
Descartes1 “I think it’s the other end of a centaur that would get the most attention”
DjWebcomicGeek “I doubt they would find them too sexy. I don’t recall seeing many covered centaur women so it’s like they’re desensitized to boobs.”
My thoughts on this are that centaurs would be very European about breasts. As DJ so kindly pointed out, I’ve never seen a centaur wearing a shirt, so right there that takes away the whole taboo aspect of breasts. Then there is the fact that a centaur cannot physically fondle a female centaur’s breasts during copulation because they are simply too far apart.
Which leads to yet another question: Do centaurs finger bang? Aside from the obvious “Is the hand even big enough to stimulate a female centaur?” There’s also the issue that in horses that particular canal also has a lot of other things coming in and out of it that would present some unavoidable hygiene issues.
The question I now leave you with is this:
“Do Centaurs masturbate?”
My guess is yes, even though they obviously cannot do this in the traditional human fashion because of distance issues. Given their near human sexuality however, it is likely that they would find some way to masturbate without using their hands by constructing some kind of masturbation device.
