Rob is from New Jersey, which more or less explains everything about him. His ability to insult someone based upon the one thing about themselves they most fear. The reason his parents abandoned him at Disneyland.* Also, his ridiculous assertion that New Jersey is a nice place to live. Also his fake tan, hair gel, and popped collars.
Actually, I don’t know if that last part is true because I have no idea whatsoever what Rob looks like. Why is this? Because I realized one day after we’d known each other for about six months that I had no idea what he looks like. Then we both decided that him sending a picture of himself to me would be gay. Then we both agreed that while there was nothing wrong with being gay, I didn’t actually care enough about what he looked like for him to send his picture to me anyway.
Interesting story? No. No it’s not. But I have white space to kill.
On a more sincere note, Rob is the sole reason this website exists. He has personally paid for the hosting since day one, and while he may be from New Jersey Rob can also be very very uncomfortably nice. Studies seem to indicate he may be the only person in New Jersey with this trait. He and another awesome person offered me a computer when mine was broken. Which, I think you can agree was just too uncomfortably nice to accept.
I had to go take a shower after they did that, cut myself, and weep hysterically after shouting at myself in the mirror that I’m ugly and nobody loves me.**
*That’s actually true.
**This is not actually true, although I did shave my chest just before being offered the computer. I did it mostly on whim. And yes, it was a VERY bad idea.
Is very good at fixing things. That is all I have to say about him.